The fact is: since the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons, enacted by the USA and Russia in 1970 and later signed by 191 countries world-wide, super powers in the hands of private individuals had been banned. Even Superman had been forced into retirement and was given constant low dose Kryptonite treatments to keep his powers in check right up until his death in 1992. Had Veggie had super powers he would have been eliminated. There were no super powers left except for the United States and Russia. And Russia was soon to fall.
Of course there were things about Veggie Head Stalker that made him different from most folks. Besides being made from leafy green cellulose and the fact that he would sheds his leaves from time to time, Veggie viewed the world differently than most people did. It was during the years we spent together that I learned to appreciate our differences. I think, if you'll give him a chance, you'll appreciate the differences too. After all, variety is the spice of life and not much ever brought him down....
Stalking A Carrot
The Stalker chased the carrot
for miles and miles that day,
but no matter how fast he followed
the carrot got away.
Was then that he discovered,
was a carrot on a stick,
and he would never catch it
by trying to be quick.
So the Stalker thought about it.
Was then he starts to laugh.
"I'm the mighty Vegetable Stalker," he said.
"By gosh, I must be daft."
Was then the answer came to him.
An answer he did seed.
He only needs to grab the stick
then enjoy the read.
"Who would have ever thought the mighty Vegetable Stalker knew how to read? After all, he went to public school. Perhaps he was just too exhausted to continue the chase, who knows? And what about the mule? Where's he at?"
Like I wrote in the last Veggisode, the advertising had become more intrusive than ever before. I had just published my first book, Carrot On A Stick and the publisher was a major sponsor of Veggie's exploits. I had no idea that getting published meant that I was getting owned. They still own me. Had I known that I would have probably remained a truck driver or a biker like I am today.
VegetableStalker.com is brought to you in part by Wackemall Mining, Manufacturing & Farming... Proud sponsors of the Vegetable Stalker.
See what I mean? The commercialization of our quest was the major reason I put off telling the story for so many years until finally I felt the truth could wait no longer.
It was about that time my friend Veggie began to come into his own. Maybe it was the victory at sea, or the fact that he managed to obliterate the wild strawberries that boosted his confidence. Maybe it was the fact that people were throwing money at us in the form of corporate sponsorship, who knows? It was about this time he unveiled his biggest scheme ever...
Apples
They say Sir Issac Newton
was hit upon the head.
Was he, discovered gravity,
though he might have gone to bed.
And a man called Johnny Appleseed
took seeds to all the land.
To give them to America
was his noble plan.
So the Vegetable Stalker came to me,
said, "Let's take 'em 'round the world
in an apple shaped balloon
to every boy and girl."
But it seems he overloaded
'til the gondola could hold no more,
and crashed upon the ground
to leave him tired and sore.
"Good grief! Is the Vegetable Stalker okay? I bet more than a few apples got bruised. Speaking of bruised-- what ever will he do with all that bruised fruit? Apple sauce, maybe? Speaking of sauce, could it be ol' Veggie Head is on the sauce? Hard apple cider? Applejack, maybe? Is the road to hell covered with good intentions or rotten apples? Will one bad apple spoil the whole tree? Find out next time as the Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker continue with Spinach. That's right, spinach."
VegetableStalker.com is brought to you in part by Wackemall Mining, Manufacturing & Farming... Proud sponsors of the Vegetable Stalker.
