12.10.15

Fruits And Nuts

Who could argue with logic like that? It was times like that Veggie's true genus shined through. He might have been a great vegetable but he was still a vegetable, sorta'. Still I couldn't help but wonder what was troubling him but before we find out you'll have to sit through yet another intrusive advertisement.



Fruits And Nuts

"Fruits and nuts, fruits and nuts,
you eat them every day.
Fruits and nuts, fruits and nuts,"
We heard ol' Veggie say,
"I'm tired of these fruits and nuts.
Ready for a change.
But then what would I ever eat
if things were not the same?"

"Maybe I'll try pork..."

"Could it be? Is it possible the mighty Vegetable Stalker is considering giving up his vegetarian ways? What if he eats himself sick? Surely after a lifetime of being a vegan a change in diet would shock his system, wouldn't you think? Then again, does Veggie even have a system? Imagine a meat eating plant, who ever heard tell of such a thing? What's that? A Venus Fly Trap? Oh what a little shop of horrors that must be."

Well I'm happy to say Veggie just used that Veggisode to throw off his enemies and never did start eating meat. Not that I think there's anything wrong with eating meat but the thought of man-sized and larger carnivorous plants running all over the world is just a bit too much fiber for me to digest? Especially if they carry weapons like Veggie does. There's all sorts of creepy plants most of us have never heard of like the Giant Amazon Snake Creeper which kills by wrapping its vines around its prey and squeezing it to death. Thankfully its favorite food is Boa Constrictor snakes.

What? You don't believe me? Google "Giant Amazon Snake Creeper" you'll see.

Speaking of creepers, that creep Potter Plant was the topic of a lot of Veggie's conversations with all those Herbs. It seems that while we were sailing around in the tropics, Veggie and is buds were setting a trap for Mister Plant, planning to wackemall, shuck him like an ear of corn, and roast him in the electric skillet just like he had tried to do Veggie. The way Veggie caught him was pure genus...

Cherry Tomatoes

Veggie caught the criminal.
He got a full confession
to tell us of his awful deeds,
and how he's learned his lesson;
but Veggie didn't turn him in.
Veggie didn't call the cops.
He exposed him so the world could see
what goes on at the top.

Was in a cheap motel room,
Veggie hid a camera there,
lured Potter with a promise
of a cherry oh so fair,
a really ripe tomato
like ol' Plant had never seen
but when ol' Potter peeled her back
he saw that she was green.

"Action, Take 1, Roll the Cameras!"

"How about that? It was Potter Plant all along. Of course we never doubted Veggie, did we? Veggie was framed and now he has Potter in a few frames of his own. So what lies in store for the Vegetable Stalker now? Action figures maybe? Movie deals? An invitation to visit the White House?"

That's right, Veggie caught Potter Plant peeled like an over-ripe banana while doing a couple of cherry tomatoes in a cheap motel room somewhere in the South Pacific. Veggie then sold pictures and video to the same media whores who had been after him. Potter didn't know he was caught until the Veggisode aired while he was sitting at home watching with Mrs. Plant and their house full of little shoots. You can bet he'll not be spreading any more seeds there. Now Potter Plant and his cohorts are testifying before a Congressional inquiry while we move on to Chapter VI, The Hero Returns.