26.10.15

Let's Salsa



So This Harvest Eats You thought I might be the Vegetable Stalker in disguise. I guess a warrior really does have to die before another warrior is born.That would, in-fact, end up being to my advantage. You see, even though Veggie was dead he was still their biggest fear and if I could convince them I was indeed the Vegetable Stalker in disguise then their fear would cause their pea brains to make bad decisions. That made it imperative I continue to fight lots of little, easily won battles in order to keep them rattled.

I decided after spending another night with Herb (not her real name) that I needed to head down south to Mexico. It seems the lack of government regulations in most third world countries has caused the problem to be even bigger than it was in the USA, but with the problem moving quickly across borders and into more plants as these invasive species continued to take over the world. It was time I made a case for US Corporations to adhere to US law even when outside of the country...

Let's Salsa

I made my way to Mexico,
across the Reo Grande.
The Federalies waited there
to slap cuffs on my hands
but with help I avoided them,
and went on with my plan
to dance in fields of salsa
just because I can.

Was somewhere in Tobasco
near the town of Paraise,
I found a little salsa field
with everything I need.
Tomatoes, tomatillos,
chili peppers, onions too,
cilantro and some garlic.
Enough to make do.

Was near the field I waited
when there before my eyes
came Veggie out of nowhere,
a crazed look in his eyes.
He came back with a vengeance,
shouting, "Look out world, I'm back!"
Then he hit the salsa fields
with a full out surprise attack!

 "It's the pleasure of this reporter to announce that Billy Jones, the Rebel Poet, just like his mentor, Veggie Head Stalker, aka, The Vegetable Stalker, has been captured and killed when he attempted a raid on a vegetable garden just outside of the Mexican coastal town of Paraise in the province of Tobasco. Mexican officials reported that while they offered him the chance to surrender, Billy chose to fight to his death."


Seriously, pruning sheers? You put an ad for pruning sheers right after the story of my death? That's just sick and twisted. Besides, I'm not dead.

Veggie was still alive? I couldn't believe it. He went through that garden like a Texas chain saw movie. As a matter of fact, he was wielding a chain saw. You should have seen those vegetables' faces when Veggie started that souped-up saw with the first pull, the expansion chamber screaming louder than the plants. I think some of them were scared to death before he cut into them. Man you should have seen the pulp go flying. And the juice? I could of had a V8.

Ah yes, Veggie was still alive. I promised you a sequel, remember? You'll find out more in Chapter IX, Not According To Plan.

In the meantime, if you happened upon this book via some link or web search and would like to start from the beginning VegetableStalker.com... Well, that was the link, click it.