Still On The Lam
Now ol' Veggie, he's hidin' our.
They're a lookin' oh so hard.
The FBI, the Mounties,
and even Scotland Yard.
They called the Federalies,
even called the KGB;
but Veggie's still out on the lam.
Wonder where he might be...
"Could it be the Vegetable Stalker has managed to elude police all over the world even while our camera crews follow him everywhere he goes? Where on Earth could he be, and will he ever be free again? Are you watching for clues? Apparently the cops aren't. Y'all stay tuned for more of the Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker brought to you by Wackemall Mining, Manufacturing & Farming... What's that? No there's nowhere you need to be. Sit back and watch the rest of the story."
There we were, hiding out across the border from which ever side was chasing us on any given day while the advertisers became more aggressive with each new Veggisode. When the Federalies got too close we went north. When the Mounties started bearing down on us with their moose we headed back south again. One time a Texas Ranger managed to pin us down in a little cantina near Langtry. We're just glad ol' Judge Roy Bean wasn't still vining to hang us...
The ranger had us cornered,
it seemed, with no way out,
but Veggie said, "Follow my lead."
I had no time to doubt.
The ranger, no he'll not forget
what became his biggest folly
when Veggie and I began to fire
a volley of hot tamales!
"Wow! That was close, I thought Chuck Norris was going to drag them both to the hoosegow where Veggie and Billy would both waste away in the darkness of some adobe-brick jail. Could you imagine being kept in the dark like that? They're not mushrooms, you know. Why that would be a death sentence for sure. Will Veggie ever manage to prove his innocence, or will he have to run from the mowers the rest of his life? Stay tuned for answers... Wait a minute... Y'all have all figured out by now there are no answers, just more questions. Y'all stay tuned for more questions, okay?"
Even as this dark chapter ends, Veggie and I were still on the run. After all, you don't expect the story of a man's life to be that short do you? I know, I know Veggie isn't really a man, but he still had a lifetime to live and if I end the story now I'll have to write a sequel. I've still got a story to tell. We weren't out of the dark and it was looking like the autumn of our lives. I was expecting Veggie to start turning at any time, check out how we did in Chapter V, The Fall And Rise.
Yes, I really did just write that.