The Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker: Preface

It was a war over 80 years in the making. THEY (This Harvest Eats You) watched us fight two world-wars, dozens of conflicts and a couple of police actions before THEY began their secret war to take over the world and destroy the human race. Even after THEY invaded there were those who didn't believe we were actually in danger. Of course, THEY had been planning it covertly since their accidental arrival here on Earth.

I've tried to tell the story in such a way as to portray both sides of the story but I am sure there are those on both sides who will accuse me of hoeing dirt over the roots of the story in the hope that no one might know the truth. Others will accuse me of trying to rewrite history. I only hope I am able to impress upon you, that what I have recorded on these pages is indeed the truth, the naked truth with all its ugly roots exposed.

I've presented the story of Veggie Head Stalker and his battle against the invaders in such a way as to allow you to read the text of the news stories in quotes along with my own narrative and the original verse which was written for mass consumption. While the network attributed all the verse to me that wasn't always the case. Sometimes they altered my work. Other times they simply made things up to suit their agenda. It was at great personal expense and often with lots of resistance, that I managed to locate what I believe to be the actual texts as were read by the newscasters of VNN, the Veggie News Network, a small independent news organization that attempted to green wash Veggie's story to launch itself into national and international media markets. Could it have been altered? There is that chance but my narrative is there to correct anything that isn't factual.

Where did THEY come from? In the beginning, THEY were simply the residue of biological experiments-- cross-breeding mostly-- that were tossed out, thrown into garbage cans and hauled to a landfill or compost pile somewhere. Somehow THEY managed to survive, infiltrate and breed with native species all over the world. Later, the waste from DNA experiments and genetically modified plant species would join their cause.

Over time there have been many experiments gone awry. As each failed to produce the desired results, THEY would be quick to recruit these new species and assimilate them into their fold. By the time forty years had passed, THEY had managed to integrate themselves into the natural world but instead of becoming a part of the nature world, THEY decided to become a collective of invasive species on a quest to rule the world while ignoring the fact that THEY are at the bottom of the natural food chain.

While most humans can't tell a natural vegetable from any of the thousands of species of THEY, Veggie Head Stalker, being of the same plant genus, tribe and superorder, could recognize them every time. Were it not for my friend Veggie none of you would be alive to read this today.

In another forty years the story would begin with Chapter I, The Early Years.