Chapter II, The Adventures Continue

And so it was that Veggie and I became inseparable. Despite the fact that we never put down roots, those early adventures cemented our bonds to an extent neither of us can explain even today. There was rarely a day or an adventure that didn't scare the dickens out of both of us, and yet we continued on like two mad men on some secret mission of world-wide importance.

Besides ourselves there were those who believed our mission was of world-wide importance. I can't really say who they were as the entire lot seemed to change with time and many would not admit to it today, but back then everywhere we went there were those who insisted it be paramount we continue our travels and secretly funded our efforts. They called us ambassadors, solders, heroes, and sometimes goof-balls-- even cabbage heads and pea brains-- but still they encouraged us to carry on. And even though a Yankee Vegetable and a Rebel Poet made an odd team, we managed to make a go of it.

Looking back on those years, I sometimes wonder how we managed to survive. Looking back, I suspect everyone might wonder how Veggie survived.

Wild Strawberries

I was walkin' 'cross the pasture,
thought, I've not a thing to fear.
The sun was shining brightly
and there was nobody near.
I didn't see 'em creeping
'cross the earth behind my back.
How was I to know
the berries would attack!

Wild strawberries,
stains on my bare feet.
I can't put on my socks
for fear they'll not be neat.
I can't put on my shoes
'cause I can't put on my socks.
I didn't know they lived about.
Thought they came inside a box.

Wild strawberries
littering the ground.
Everywhere I look, they're there.
Around me they surround.
They're stainin' all my clothes.
I must fight them, there's no doubt,
but what else can I do
except eat my way out.


"The Vegetable Stalker strikes again, Y'all. Will he manage to eat his way out of this mess, or will he forever stain his reputation? And what about his reputation; wasn't it already blemished beyond repair? Could there be enough soap in the world to get ol' Veggie cleaned up, and would he even try? Find out next time as the Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker continue. Anybody got any bleach?"

Life was like that from this point on. The adventures got bigger and became more frequent. The media hounded us more and advertising became more intrusive. (See above) There was rarely a day gone by that Veggie didn't manage to find some new adventure, and I was always right there to capture every story with my trusty pen. A Wackemall machete might have been the weapon of choice for Veggie but I wielded a black, medium-point roller pen. Of course I managed to go through a lot of pens, but by this point Veggie and I had managed to get sponsors to help with the enormous cost of traveling the world in search of fruits, vegetables, and adventures. From this point on the adventurers would become even bigger as Veggie's adventures continue with Battle At Sea.