The Vegetable Stalker Goes To Japan

Veggie Head Stalker was back in all his glory. Sometimes all it takes is one win to make a man, or a vegetable, march all the way into the history books, and it looked as if my friend Veggie and I were on our way. Of course I did step in to help him when he was down, but that's what friends are supposed to do, right? Besides, if he had lost I would have been back to driving a truck for a living.

The Vegetable Stalker Goes To Japan

You lookin' at me
with your little beady eyes.
Yum, black eyed peas.

"Is the Vegetable Stalker turning Japanese, or is he just high on Sake and rice wine? Wonder where he'll go next? Do you think he'll ever return from Japan, or will some geisha-girl puree that little pea brain of his? Find out the answers to these questions-- well maybe not these exact questions--  next time as the Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker continue..."

Things were looking up for our hero. The Veggie I had come to know and love was back, and things were happening so fast even Veggie couldn't keep up with his life. There were reporters all around asking questions in Japanese and a dozen other languages which Veggie all spoke fluently. Or at least I think he did because he never hesitated to answer anything they asked him in languages I couldn't understand. There were invitations to rub branches with the rich and famous, game shows, more sponsors, and even a chance to be on television with Veggie's all time favorite TV personality, the Louisianian Cajun Chef, the famous Justin Wilson. Veggie said meeting Mr Wilson was the high point of his entire life, but the high might have been from that homemade wine Veggie and Justin drank right before the show started.


 Okra, oh okra,
slimy and thick:
you must keep your guard
lest you be tricked.
So watch, Vegetable Stalker,
there's okra about
and should you fall in
you'll never get out.

So the Vegetable Stalker
made Gumbo with rice
while listening real close
to the words of advice
of that ol' Cajun chef
who cooks on TV,
and cooked us some Gumbo
as good as can be.

"Hey Justin, don't let Veggie get any more of that homemade wine. "Aiieee!" Oops, too late. Oh well, Y'all stay tuned for more Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker as Veg Head learns how to cure a big ol' Louisiana style hangover. "Aiieeee!" Somebody please help me get Veggie down from that flag pole in front of the television studio."

Veggie was on top of the world. Okay, he was on top of the flag pole but nothing could stop him now. There was no one who could stand in his way be it man or vegetable. With the support of the people, and the deep pockets of Fascist Corporate America paying the way, Veggie was planning his biggest coup yet. "It will be the coup de grace," he said. "The straw that breaks the vegetable's back. I'll execute a coup de main that coup de tats the whole world."

I'm not sure just what Veggie meant but I think he learned some Coonass French from hanging out with ol' Justin. That or he was just making up words, who knows?

To be continued in Chapter III, The Lean Years.