Battle In The Heartland
We loaded up for Kansas.
The route was all well worn
from troops who went before us
to stop the killer corn.
For the corn, it is a hybrid
like none you've ever seen,
and we had planned to cut it all
while it was still green.
The ears, they heard us coming
so they were at the ready,
and though bad winds were blowing
they held their ground quite steady.
The met us with their Kernels,
all soldiers tried and true.
And so it is they held their ground
with reinforcements blue.
"Indian Corn too? Did anyone know the blue maize had joined the fight as well? I thought that Indian Corn was neutral like the Swiss. Why everyone thought blue corn was always natural. Looks like we were wrong. What an awful defeat for the Vegetable Stalker. Will Billy and Veggie be able to shuck that corn, or will they end up ground like meal? We'll keep you updated on this and more..."
I've really got to give credit where credit is due. I don't know who was running that new underground TV network but they were getting really good and getting the story out before their signal got blocked. And with a lot fewer commercial interruptions.
Veggie said the battle wasn't really a loss. We had to engage the enemy to get an actual assessment of their real troop strength. Now we knew what we were up against, what they were most likely to do and what we needed to do to defeat them. Now that we knew that Monsanto's corn was allied with the Indian Corn we decided to get us some Indians of our own...
Veggie Makes Wampum
Veggie smoked the peace pipe
with chiefs from all the land,
told them of his battles,
told them of his plans.
He told them how their native maize
had joined the other side.
Then asked if they would join us
an' come 'long for the ride.
Veggie offered wampum.
They said, "Keep your silly beads.
We're joining you to save ourselves.
We've all the beads we need.
But if you show us tractors
we'll ride our way to glory,
plow those Kernels under
and end this silly story."
"Well that's the news tonight, Folks. Veggie Head Stalker has managed to make history again by signing a treaty that unites all the Native American Tribes to become the Stalker Alliance. Will this great alliance be enough to stop the invading species or will This Harvest Eats You manage to retain their choke hold as they continue to wrap their vines around our..."
THEY almost got our camera crew that time. I'm told some of the equipment was lost but everyone escaped safely. We broke in to THEY's studio and got them some more equipment just in time to see Veggie pull out his Chemical Weapons.
