It had been my belief from the beginning that P-E-T-S was behind the whole plagiarism scandal and time proved me right. It was also my belief that P-E-T-S was also behind the fake news leaks. They had to be. Who else would want to hurt Veggie? Besides, he's exposed them for being THEY (This Harvest Eats You) and THEY were less than thrilled about it even though most people still didn't yet believe THEY existed. I believe there was no end to what P-E-T-S might try to do to Veggie, but I made up my mind it would be over my dead body. Eventually, THEY tried that too...
Leeks
"I have to stop the leeks!
I have to stop the leeks!"
the Vegetable Stalker shouted out
as he ran down the street;
but all who heard him wondered
as times, they were in drought,
and leaks were not a problem
as there were none about.
"Will the Vegetable Stalker stop the leeks? And just what are leeks anyway, garlic or onion? Perhaps they're more like rutabagas. Hey, that rhymes with Studebaker. I haven't seen one of those in years. Come to think of it, I haven't seen a leek in years-- must be the drought. And what about this drought? Could it be the writer of this series is experiencing a drought of new ideas that keeps him hanging on to ol' Veggie Head? Find the answers to more burning questions-- no one said Veggie can cook-- right here on this station."
Veggie was like that for several months. Nothing he did made any sense any more. Of course some might rant that nothing Veggie ever did made sense but before there had been method to his madness-- now there wasn't anything that could be considered tangible even by those of us who knew him best. It looked as if our old boy was finally scattered, smothered, and covered. Yes, Veggie was looking well done. But then you'd be crazy too if you were facing execution by frying in a giant electric skillet...
Se' Able, Stalker
"Tomatillos, tomatillos,
they're fruit inside a husk,
but fruit, it cannot hide.
I'll find you as I must."
So ol' Veggie there, he made his way
a searching 'cross the land.
To find the tomatillos
was his only plan.
He found a small tomato
and said, "You're an impostor,
but I will eat you just the same."
So he sat on his posterior
and he ate, and ate, and ate
'til he found his fill, oh,
but will he ever find
the elusive tomatillo.
Then he headed south to Tejas.
Said, "I'm bound to find them there."
"I'll find some tomatillos," he said
as he saddled up his mare.
But days along the Texas trail
showed him only armadillos,
yellow flowers bloomed, would he find
the fruit called tomatillo.
He rode down south to Mexico
but didn't find them there.
He said, "The hide so carefully
I just don't think it fair."
The people, they all laughed at him
when he tried to fruit in Spanish
so he thought, It's time to hit the trail,
feed my mare and simply vanish.
He headed north, the Lone Star State
awaited his return,
but finding tomatillos
was Veggie's first concern.
He stopped outside of Abaline
then rode to Amarillo,
and in the Big Texan Steak House
he found his tomatillo.
So he ate it.
"What's this, a Veggisode with a happy ending-- what's up with that? And do you think he managed to eat all that 72 ounce steak they serve there as well? I didn't see his picture among the 9000 or so on their wall. Oh, that's right, Veggie's a vegeterian. Better be careful Veggie, I hear THEY down in Texas don't shine too much on vegeterans. Maybe we should just keep that a secret. Oops! I already run my big mouth. Y'all stay tuned for our next Veggisode as we continue with Margarita.
Vaya Con dios and adiós, Y'all!
