Veggie was quick to point out that the media had predicted cabbage would be our next encounter. There was little doubt in our minds the media was in on, if not behind the whole scheme. Another interesting lead was finding what appeared to be official P-E-T-S membership cards on three of the cabbages Veggie shredded when they tried to kill me...


Yellow to the left of him
and yellow to the right.
Ol' Veggie feared he'd not escape
this yellow of a sight.
What kind of place has Veggie found,
like none he's ever seen?
It looks like Veggie's wandered in
a field of mustard greens.

"What a blooming idiot. Anyone knows mustard greens are only yellow when they're in full bloom. All he has to do is get up off his knees, and he'll be able to see where he's at. Has Veggie been drinking in the scent of some rotten vegetable or has his brain began to yellow? Find out next time as we continue to give you 'round the clock coverage of the Adventures of the Vegetable Stalker."

Veggie crawled across that mustard field on his hands and knees following the trail of our attackers. There was little doubt in the minds of our supporters that the politricksters were in bed with the media whores as well. Every time the media reported something bad about us the politricksters were quick to jump on the bandwagon and try to run us out of town on a rail, but things weren't going according to their plans as Veggie and I went pretty much anywhere we wanted to go and we didn't ride no trains. Well maybe just that one time but that was just Tweetsie Railroad in Blowing Rock, North Carolina and just that one time.

You see, when the people really start to believe in you there's not much anyone can do to curb your power, and when we rode into Washington, DC that day in May, there was no doubt people were behind us, and the media whores and politricksters never saw it coming...

Veggie Rides A Hog

Veggie and I led the way
to Washington, DC
on steeds of chrome and steel
for all the world to see.
Millions rode behind us
in cars, in trucks, on bikes.
We'd come to tell the President
of things we didn't like.

There were cops, and cooks, and cleaning crews
who rode 'long with us too,
and folks who work in factories
just trying to make do.
There were teachers, tramps, and telephone men
along to make the call
to tell the politricksters,
we're tired of all Y'all.

There were Greeks, an' Poles, and Germans,
Italians, Russians too,
and freaks, an' fools, and Indians;
the other Indians too.
They all had come together
to say enough's enough.
Either run our country right
or we might just get rough.

There were soldiers, moms, and preachers too,
a bringing up the rear
as we made our way through city streets
our destination near.
Was when we saw the White House
we all began to cheer
applause so loud and boisterous
that the whole world could hear.

 "The following is a special news bulletin: Veggie Head Stalker, aka the Vegetable Stalker, and North American Poet Laureate, the Rebel Poet, Billy Jones, have organized the largest protest in the history of the United States, and maybe the largest in the whole world, and are riding up to the White House on Harley Davidson motorcycles as we speak. Following them are millions of protesters on motorcycles, in cars, in buses, and in trucks. Tractors too! Does anyone know why they're protesting? Why have they descended upon the nation's capital? Why didn't they go to Daytona Beach, Florida, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, or Sturgis, South Dakota? Stay tuned as we continue to bring you special coverage from the nation's capital."

Of course the media didn't want to day why we were riding on Washington in such a massive display of grass-roots... make that vegetable roots support. THEY knew the answer, but because THEY were the problem THEY simply avoided the questions. As a matter of fact: the reporter who asked the questions was fired. That's when Veggie hired him to launch VBS. That's right, Veggie had decided to start his own television network so the people could hear the truth. The Veggie Broadcasting System would be on the air, on radio, TV and this new thing called the Internet, telling the world the truth in just a few days. Learn how we surprised those politricksters and media whores as the story continues in Chapter VIII,  A Warrior Is Born.